Moms Laugh

Tallywhacker Bush Bats and the Doo Doo Eating Dog

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:08:52 -0600

One weekend about or so years ago, my God, has it been that long? my cousin Jeff and I loaded up his son Jason, aged ten, and my son Sean aged eight, along with Jeff's black labrador retriever named Sam and off we went to four-wheel it through the marshy bottoms to camp out on Jeff's acres of land that lies on both sides of the South Sulphur River. A few years later, we built a cabin that we still go camping at every year, but in those days our campsite consisted pretty much of tents, tarps and a wooden electrical cable spool that we used as a table.Anyway, we arrived shortly before dark on a Friday evening and just got our tents set up before it was time to light our campfire and turn on a couple of Coleman lanterns. Somewhere not long after setting up the tents and about half-way through a bottle of Wild Turkey, Jeff decided to have a bit of fun with the boys, so he gathered them around the campfire and told them to be on the lookout for really evil creatures called "Tallywh...

Old Phil Propagated A Good Old Hoax

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:06:28 -0600

It began as all things begin n a long period of boredom with nothing exciting to do. Whoever said, "Idle hands are the devil's workshop," knew something of what they were speaking.As the story was told to me, it went something like this: It was toward the end of January, a long cold January at that. A group of groundhogs who were supposed to be hibernating were afflicted with a bad case of insomnia.You know how it is. It has happened to you many times, I am sure. You are supposed to be asleep but sleep is the furthest thing from your eyeballs at the time. Because of the lack of sleep, reality becomes a fading commodity.These bored groundhogs had tried everything to cure their insomnia but nothing seemed to work. Finally, an old groundhog who had been quiet up to this time loudly cleared his throat and gained the attention of the others."Friends," he quietly began, "I've been thinking about something for a very long time. Perhaps now is the time to put this plan into action."Becaus...

All I want for Christmas is Ewe

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:02:51 -0600

I hate Christmas. Last year the wife bought me a 'Rudolf' umbrella just so she could use the line, 'It looks line rain dear'. My decision to kick her out of the house was perfectly justified.In a freakish coincidence, I saw another umbrella as a result of her mother's gift. I can't complain too much though, it had a street value of .The Premiership's very own 'Rudolf' will soon be joining me in the miserable corner. Fergie's title aspirations received a Hammer blow last week; the Villa can land a knockout strike at . I'm taking the kids to Villa Park to see young Rooney; it's the only way they'll get to see a fat man with a beard this Christmas. Get your claws into Petrov at to score the first goal. Apparently, the Chelsea players are spending a total of on presents for each other; typical flash footballers. A win over Wigan at could see the champions on top of the tree on Christmas day.AC Milan president Silvio Berlusconi has sensationally labelled Andriy Shev...

Life Within Finitude. How Bad Is It, I Wondered, Beside A Portrait Of George Washington?

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:18:05 -0600

Recently, I was sitting in a restaurant, beside a fading portrait of George Washington, as he looked down from above the fireplace. I became wistful about how even the most revered of human heroes are fragile and mortal. They all plod along in finitude like the rest of us, doing the best they can, and then time folds them up and tosses them in the trash basket of eternity. I felt, as the phrase goes, the tragic sense of life. Are we all finally no more than crumbling leaves, tumbling in the autumn wind? Then I reflected, as I make myself do during such melancholy and suspect observations, on the wholeness of life. We are also, I reminded myself, the fresh green leaves of spring and the mature ones of summer. And I found solace in their recurrence, beauty, and inherent devotion to the tasks of life. Of course, they don't have a choice. They blossom, live, and die without volition.Not us. We can decide to do whatever we like - to live or die and, since most of us choose to live, how w...

The Catalog: A Modern Fable

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:50:16 -0600

Once upon a time, the wife of a man who secretly disliked the act of recycling sent a humble request to an enchanted place called Land's End. The wife asked the caretaker of Land's End to send a catalog that provided a visual depiction of its wares thus making it easy to select garments without having to travel to department stores whose workers were feared throughout the Kingdom for their surly attitudes and unnatural ability to vanish into thin air at checkout time. As was the custom between the man and wife, each night before they went to sleep they conversed, often laughing long into the night by carefully steering clear of subjects pertaining to financial matters, neglected tasks or the raising of their children. They were very happy.Lo and behold the catalog arrived in the wife's mailbox. She became smitten the instant she saw the model on the cover dressed in a Georgette Flare Skirt, made from "an exceptionally lovely fabric" coveted far and wide for its ability to "waft on t...

Sitting In A Broken Chair All Day: But I'm Learning !

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:09:51 -0600

You may wonder what this could possibly have to do with being an entrepreneure as the category states...Well, I am beginning a new chapter in my life and it is all about starting an on-line business.After I had a heart attack in August of this year I just felt lucky to have survived.It was just my husband and I at home and I was at loose ends wanting to find something I could do and still have time for friends and family.I did get a kitten!This all leads up to the chair I sit in at the computer. It is a throw away from a customer of my husbands and it" LOOKS" pretty good ....untill you sit in it for a few minutes.It has a mind of it's own and I keep saying that I am going to phone up the lady that owned it before and ask her about the history of this "wonderful" item. My husband is always bringing "good stuff home".This morning I started off sitting nice and high in the chair and I was so involved with my work I didn't notice that hours later I had been slowly and snee...

15 sure-shot Christmas Gift ideas for Men

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:49:59 -0600

When you desperately want to gift them something 'different' this yearAnyone who has ever tried giving a 'different' gift to their men folk on a Christmas will know what I am talking about. It is far easier to select gift for women due to the kind of variety and range available in the market. Anyone under would love to have the latest designer makeup offering. Above will love some concoctions of skin creams. Bath luxuries, new shimmering evening dress, cookery classes vouchers, time saving kitchen equipment...there is no dearth of offerings for women.However, for men, the choices are so limited. How many times can you gift someone golf clubs, socks, aftershave, watch or a good old leather wallet?? Any offbeat gift like bath marbles or a cute puppy may not hit-off with everyone. You are always in doubt while experimenting, if it's the right thing.Here are some alternative gift ideas that might earn you that big broad smile from your dad, grandpa or husband. The kinky ones will ...

Mama Evans

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 00:45:53 -0600

Erma Evans, a widow in the Church of God, served as a perfect example of what the Apostle Paul called for from our senior women Titus :. She touched the lives of many and was affectionally called "Mama Evans" by the young fellows of the Worldwide Church of God in Toledo, Ohio: Church singles whom she graciously would have over for a home-cooked meal every month.Mrs. Evans knew all about southern hospitality since she was originally from Mud Creek, Kentucky. She would offer the meal, after we prayed, and would often then fall asleep on her couch, practically purring like a kitty, content as we fellowshipped and played board games or cards.The following is a letter from "Mama Evans" that she sent me when I was living in Israel August , getting ready to begin a work-study program at Kibbutz Sdot Yam near Caesarea. It reveals a little more of this precious woman God blessed us with:Dear David:Just a few lines to say hello and that I miss you very much and get a th...

Buying a Puppy? Use This Puppy Checklist

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:24:06 -0600

So you've decided to buy a puppy? Dogs can bring joy, laughter,love, loyalty, protection and companionship into your life.However, there are a few things you need to be aware of beforeyou choose the puppy you wish to bring into your home. Use thefollowing checklist to ensure you purchase the puppy that'sright for you.The Breeder Is the breeder experienced with the breed of puppy you arechoosing? Can she answer any questions you have? Will she standbehind the puppy if problems arise? Has the breeder explained all the pros and cons of the breedyou have chosen? Every dog has good and bad characteristics andthe breeder should make you aware of them. Has the breeder insisted the puppy be enrolled in obedienceschool? Today many reputable breeders insist on this. Has the breeder offered you a starter kit? Many breeders offercustomers a package when they purchase a puppy. It shouldinclude instruction on the care of the dog, at least one dogcare book for the specific breed...

Easy Tips For House Breaking Your Puppy

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 06:25:24 -0600

If you are lucky enough to get a -week-old puppy, there is noexcuse for any bad habits to develop over his lifetime. Puppieslearn INSTANTLY when they are that young, and if you use theproper training methods, gentle but consistent, he will behavelike an angel his whole life through. The most important training, of course, is housebreaking. Boysare easier than girls because exploring outside is theirfavorite thing. They just cannot get enough of all the newsmells out there! The main key to housebreaking is watching. Watch your puppy ANDthe clock. Once every hour is not too often on a day he isactive and the weather is good. The younger the pup, the moreoften he needs to go out, mostly because he is growing so fast.He must drink more water to fuel his metabolism than he does asan adult. Also, since he eats three or four times a day, youknow what that means. Watch him for subtle changes. If he is happily chewing his toy,and gets up suddenly with his nose to the floor, mo...

Tips For Easy House Breaking Your Puppy

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:06:52 -0600

If you are lucky enough to get a -week-old puppy, there is noexcuse for any bad habits to develop over his lifetime. Puppieslearn INSTANTLY when they are that young, and if you use theproper training methods, gentle but consistent, he will behavelike an angel his whole life through.The most important training, of course, is housebreaking. Boysare easier than girls because exploring outside is theirfavorite thing. They just cannot get enough of all the newsmells out there! The main key to housebreaking is watching. Watch your puppy ANDthe clock. Once every hour is not too often on a day he isactive and the weather is good. The younger the pup, the moreoften he needs to go out, mostly because he is growing so fast.He must drink more water to fuel his metabolism than he does asan adult. Also, since he eats three or four times a day, youknow what that means. Watch him for subtle changes. If he is happily chewing his toy,and gets up suddenly with his nose to the floor, mov...

Doggone Adorable

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 05:25:48 -0600

Dogs love to have fun and now they can join in on the good timesby wearing their own pet Halloween costume. Take a look at someof these great costumes available online. Most costumes come insmall, medium, large, with some in X-tra large.>Buycostumes.com >> - Star Wars Characters: Darth Vader, Princess Leia, and Yoda - nowyour pooch can get in on all the light saber action of StarWars. The Yoda outfit will have you yapping with laughter.Zorro - he's cool, dashing, and ready to save all the ladies indistress. Wonder Woman - don't mess with this lady, boys--she'll use hersuperpowers to send you to the pound.>Petco.com >> - Dracula - your dog will be a cute little blood sucker in thisoutfit, with its black and red cape, also includes authenticlooking Dracula hair.Frankenstein - other dogs will turn green with envy when theysee your little monster strutting around in this outfit.Pink Princess - she already knows she's a princess, but she getsto show it of...

Interesting Old Dog Tricks

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:46:55 -0600

The teaching and training of dog tricks while not a necessarypart of a dog's education, is an achievement that offer dogowners and his friends a great deal of amusement and addsmaterially to the value of a dog.Training your dog tricks can be difficult and frustrating if youcannot achieve the results you want. However, unlike house andpotty training which are vital education for any dog, I feelthat the end-results is not the most significant element intrick training, to me the most important part is that both ofyou enjoy the training process and have fun along the way.Listed in this article are interesting dog tricks that you canteach your dog:Dead DogPlace a dog on his back or side or in any position you mayselect, threaten him with your forefinger and say 'dead' or anyword that you may select to associate with this trick, use bothhands to help him stay in that position when you first begintraining. Praise him and offer treats if he can stay in position.With regular...

Tips for Easy Housebreaking your Puppy

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:43:36 -0600

If you are lucky enough to get a -week-old puppy, there is noexcuse for any bad habits to develop over his lifetime. Puppieslearn INSTANTLY when they are that young, and if you use theproper training methods, gentle but consistent, he will behavelike an angel his whole life through.The most important training, of course, is housebreaking. Boysare easier than girls because exploring outside is theirfavorite thing. They just cannot get enough of all the newsmells out there! The main key to housebreaking is watching. Watch your puppy ANDthe clock. Once every hour is not too often on a day he isactive and the weather is good. The younger the pup, the moreoften he needs to go out, mostly because he is growing so fast.He must drink more water to fuel his metabolism than he does asan adult. Also, since he eats three or four times a day, youknow what that means. Watch him for subtle changes. If he is happily chewing his toy,and gets up suddenly with his nose to the floor, mo...

Poodle Complete Profile

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:30:03 -0600

Key Facts:Size: There are three sizes: standard, miniature and toy Height:Standard - Over cm in Miniature - - cm - inToy - Under cm in Weight: Standard - kg lbMiniature - kg lb Toy - kg lb Life Span: yearsGrooming: Demanding Exercise: Medium Feeding: StraightforwardTemperament: Sparky & cheerful Country of Origin: France AKCGroup: Toy & Non-Sporting Other Names: Caniche, BarbonePhysical Characteristics:General Appearance: Elegant, finely chiselled and proud. Colour:Black, silver, blue, white or cream with black pigmentation. Orbrown and liver and matching pigmentation. Coat: Frizzy, dense,fine, woolly and harsh in texture. The coat can be clipped tosuit different tastes. Tail: Set high, commonly docked andcarried away from the body at a slight angle. Ears: Set low,long, wide and hanging close to the head. Covered in long, wavyhair. Body: The body is longer than the height and the shouldersare muscular and sloping. The...

"Toby" - My Whirling Twirling Sheltie

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:19:37 -0600

Five years ago this August a funny little puppy came to live inour home.He was tiny, blue-gray and white colored coat, skinny tail thathurt when it hit you and the biggest bat ears I'd ever seen on apuppy. There was one other oddity his eyes were two different colors,one blue one brown. This little guy's energy level was amazing; he ran and bouncedlike there were springs attached to the pads of his feet. Hemade us laugh from the moment he walked through the front door.However the reality of having a new puppy soon set in, keep inmind we had not done this for fifteen years. Prior to Toby's arrival we had been blessed with a wonderfulGolden Retriever named Beau. Unfortunately after fifteen yearsof love and companionship he left us due to a long illness. Getting back to the new puppy for about the first year I awokeeach morning between : ' :am, walked around the yard inthe freezing cold ' it was October when this little furbaby cameto live with us ' then slept in a...

Loyal Companions Promote Longevity

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:24:13 -0600

Have you ever wondered what a dog thinks, or if he dreams?Canine companions, by far, are amazing creatures of habit. Ifyou've ever adopted one, your life has been enriched by thespirited side of nature.Deep, within their childlike eyes is the innocence of perpetualbliss. These fury friends live to satisfy you and you alone.They soothe us with their undying love and devotion, come to ouraid in a moment's notice, anxiously await our return and fillour hearts with years of joy and laughter.At will, they pleasantly astound us with their cunningmannerisms, comedic maneuvers and gentle demeanor. Alwaysseeking to please, never failing on loyalty.The nearly Humanistic side of dogs is their keen ability todisplay real emotion and feeling. When we are saddened, ourloving counterparts tenderly nudge us or brush our faces againstours as if they understand. And when we are happy, they mimicour excitement with mirror reactions all their own.These sweet, extended family members are k...

Is a Boxer Dog The Right Pet For You?

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:21:38 -0600

Having a boxer dog as a pet, although low-maintenance, requireyour consistent attention, exercise, human interaction,consistent obedience training and lots of love. You cannot leavethem to their own design for too long or they will get lonely,bored and into trouble. Being a big and strong dog as well as a highly intelligent one,Boxers need both physical and mental stimulations to keep themeven-tempered and dignified while still keeping their impishspirit and fearless courage in tact.Their high prey drive some owners called it play drive needsproper outlets or they could get destructive as house pets, andtend to fight among themselves especially if the other familyBoxers are of the same sex. The female, it seems, is often moreaggressive than the male.Keeping Boxers busy is the best way to keep them out of trouble!Tire them out with long walks, times a day. Give them plentyof exercise, play with them, especially the inquisitive puppiesor they would tear up your home ...

Why Don't I Understand My Dog?

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 06:46:36 -0600

I have encountered folks who have complained to me about theirnumerous dog behavior problems.' And interestingly enough, Iusually discover that most of the behavioral problems are linkedto a common factor. That common factor being pet owners all toooften miss crucial, pet communication signals because of theirbusy lifestyles. What do I mean, "...miss crucial, pet communicationsignals...?" While many people love the idea of havinganimal companions, we also have daily responsibilities such asjobs, attending school, families, and other priorities. Andusually, our pets end up last place on life's totem pole. Another issue that certainly plays a key factor in how capablewe are to understanding our animals' needs and wants is whetheror not we have indoor or outdoor pets. Though indoor pets maypose a little extra patience with regard to training, I highlyrecommend as does the

Good dog health and happiness for Charlie

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 00:44:22 -0600

Good dog health and happiness for CharlieOur Charlie's dog health was a very important issue to us in ourfamily. It all started when he was a puppy of course. Aside fromthe fun and laughter he brought into our lives he brought us newfound responsibilities we hadn't concerned ourselves with BC.With some common sense and attention dog health shouldn't haveto be a major family issue. Here's how we dealt with Charlie.A few dog health issues:Feeding 'This is normally the easy and fun part. Be careful thoughbecause there's so much ballyhoo about the great stuff variousproducts can do. Major brands are tried and true with a normallysafe harbour. Avoid going off into generic diets. Competing withthe major brands on research and quality control is prettytough. Better to take the high road for your doggie's sake.Vitamin and mineral supplements would be a great addition to thediet helping to keep the immune system strong. Remember, dryfood helps keep the teeth nice and strong too...

Listen To A Talking Cockatiel

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 08:18:39 -0600

A wise old man had once told me - listen to a talking cockatieland you will feel as happy as with a child. I did not understandhis words until the day I decided to keep cockatiels as pets.Oh, they are simply adorable!If you want to listen to a talking cockatiel, you need to trainit that way. Cockatiels, in the entire parrot family, are notwell known as talkers. They are more famous for whistling tunesof your favorite songs. However, when it does, it is anexperience to listen to a talking cockatiel. It is simplydelightful to listen to a childish voice emanating from a cute,feathery, white bird.Guests at my place are more eager to listen to a talkingcockatiel than to the drab conversation among humans! Cockatielscan be picked up and played with. The cockatiels are so sweetand gentle by nature they provide unlimited entertainment toboth old and young. Listen to a talking cockatiel whistle inglee when it sees corn and millets for lunch'and you will berolling into laughter....

Parrots For Pets

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 03:36:33 -0600

I have had many pets in my life but parrots for pets are myall-time favorites. This is primarily because most parrots havelong lives. Moreover, parrots are one of the best pets in theworld. As pets, parrots provide a lot of entertainment and theybond with humans just as they would with their flock. For pets, parrots are the right choice for people with smallchildren at home and for those who have retired from activeprofessional lives. Parrots can be a lot of fun to be with andare ideal companions of little children.Parrots fill up your life with laughter and fun. Watch yourparrots repeat your words in their own tones. It is simplyhillarious! Be careful, though. See to it your parrots don'ttell your mother-in-law what you think of her!Pet parrots can be trained to talk and perform amazing tricks.However, it is not easy to train parrots. They are intelligent,graceful and often moody birds. You can derive immensesatisfaction to see your pet parrot repeating the words or th...

Boxers Dogs as Pets - Are they right for you?

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:34:34 -0600

Pet Boxers, although low-maintenance, require your consistentattention, exercise, human interaction, consistent obediencetraining and lots of love. You cannot leave them to their owndesign for too long or they get lonely, bored and into trouble. Being a big and strong dog as well as a highly intelligent one,Boxers need both physical and mental stimulations to keep themeven-tempered and dignified while still keeping their impishspirit and fearless courage in tact.How to keep Boxer out of troubleTheir high prey drive some owners called it play drive needsproper outlets or they could get destructive as house pets, andtend to fight among themselves especially if the other familyBoxers are of the same sex. The female, it seems, is moreaggressive than the male.Keeping Boxers busy is the best way to keep them out of trouble!Tire them out with long walks, times a day. Give them plentyof exercise, play with them, especially the inquisitive puppiesor they would tear up your ...

Old Sparky! Needlephobia, Nerve Conduction Tests, and

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 09:05:27 -0600

I felt queasy contemplating the nerve conduction test andelectromyelogram EMG I was about to have. The nerve conductiontest involves taping electrodes to the skin and sending a smalljolt of electric current to them. During the EMG, the doctorinserts tiny needles into various muscles and examines thesignals displayed on a laptop screen to see how quickly theyrespond to stimulation. These tests help to determine if there'sany nerve impairment or damage. Now, I'm in no position tobelittle anyone else's phobias, but I must confess to feeling abit resentful - they'll give Valium to claustrophobic patientsbefore a non-invasive MRI, but they just laugh when I suggestthey might want to sedate needlephobic me prior to an EMG. "Oh,it's not that bad," they tell me. I finally confessed to my husband just how apprehensive I wasfeeling, and suggested that if he felt inclined to come alongand hold my hand, I wouldn't object. He had another appointmentacross town, but promised he'd d...

Exclusive Interview With Santa Claus

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:03:53 -0600

Over the past two months I have been writing a Christmas story.It is about Santa Claus and the remarkable sequence of eventsthat befell a young girl living on the edge of the rainforest inPalawan, a tropical island where I live. Of course, for such an apparently far fetched story, it wasimportant to check out the facts. That was easy to do here inPalawan, but how could I interview somebody quite so famous asSanta Claus, who lived far away in a land where I would freezeto death as soon as I got off the airplane? Well, it turned out to be more easy than I thought, and we met,believe it or not, close to a big firework display in SouthernEngland on November th . How I got there and how he gotthere, I am not allowed to say. In fact, I cannot say, simplybecause I do not know for sure. I can only speculate. Mypassport shows I was here; my wife tells me I was here; I tellmyself I was here. But I was there, and this is what I canreport from the notes I took at the interview...